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标题: 北冰洋赛季优胜奖作品英译（一） [打印本页]

作者: 朱峰 时间: 2018-10-19 16:32
标题: 北冰洋赛季优胜奖作品英译（一）

苦丁茶

作者：宝昌

攒成一枚钉子。嵌进沸水
我以为它会痛，会哭出声来

而它，渐渐舒展
像是习惯了异乡，紧裹的心事
乌云一样缓缓散开

Ku Ding Cha

by Bao Chang

Twisted like a nail. Embedded into boiling water
I thought it would ache and cry out

But it slowly stretched to open up and relax
as if used to live far from home, those tightly wrapped thoughts
cleared away quietly like dark heavy clouds

中秋，我的父母就坐在相框里

作者：卢辉

每年中秋，住在天国的父母
都会结伴回到家里，他们东瞧瞧西看看
走累了，就坐在相框里
歇一歇

On Mid-Autumn Days, My Parents Would Sit in the Photo Frame

by Lu Hui

Every Mid-Autumn Day, my parents now in heaven
would come back home, looking around each room
and sit in the photo frame, when feeling tired
to rest a bit

初中新版语文教科书

作者：韦笳

砍！砍！砍！
横眉冷对的鲁迅仿佛成了鬼子
被砍的最多

主编的理由很简单：救救孩子！
匕首是凶器，投枪不安全

New Editions of Middle School Literacy Textbooks

by Wei Jia

Cut，Cut, Cut
As if Lu Xun, the fierce-bound and coolly-defied writer became
an enemy, whose works were replaced the most

The editor-in-chief has a simple excuse: Save the children!
knives are weapons and spears are dangerous, as those works

荒凉

作者：灵鹫

荒凉
是一个干净的词
它
并不需要拯救

Desolate

by Ling Jiu

Desolate
a pure and clean word
hence
no need to rescue

农民

作者：断流枫

一弯下腰就是一辈子

不断从地里拔出野草
最后拔出自己

不断往地里摁进秧苗
最后摁进去自己

Farmers

by Duanliu Feng

bend down once for a lifetime

keep taking grasses out of the field
until finally take themselves out

keep nailing seeds into the soil
until finally nail themselves into it

父亲的坟

作者：刘思承

一个人坐在山坡上像等待另一个人

他偶尔抬起头, 望见自家屋顶上的炊烟
慢慢地变成白云

他一直在等待那些云
变回从前的羊群

Father's Grave

by Liu Sicheng

Sitting alone on the hill as if waiting for someone

Looking up occasionally and see cooking smoke above our roof
turning into white clouds gradually

He has been looking forward to those clouds
turning into a group of sheep we used to live with

作者: 李世纯 时间: 2018-10-20 10:08

苦丁茶

作者：宝昌

攒成一枚钉子。嵌进沸水
我以为它会痛，会哭出声来

而它，渐渐舒展
像是习惯了异乡，紧裹的心事
乌云一样缓缓散开

Ku Ding Cha

by Bao Chang

Twisted like a nail. Embedded into boiling water
I thought it would ache and cry out

But it slowly stretched to open up and relax
as if used to live far from home, those tightly wrapped thoughts
cleared away quietly like dark heavy clouds

--------------------------------------------------
红色部分 = 仿佛曾经客居他乡，... ...

与原作相左

作者: 李世纯 时间: 2018-10-20 10:09

苦丁茶

作者：宝昌

攒成一枚钉子。嵌进沸水
我以为它会痛，会哭出声来

而它，渐渐舒展
像是习惯了异乡，紧裹的心事
乌云一样缓缓散开

Ku Ding Cha

by Bao Chang

Twisted like a nail. Embedded into boiling water
I thought it would ache and cry out

But it slowly stretched to open up and relax
as if used to live far from home, those tightly wrapped thoughts
cleared away quietly like dark heavy clouds

--------------------------------------------------
红色部分 = 仿佛曾经客居他乡，... ...

与原作相左

作者: 李世纯 时间: 2018-10-20 10:17
苦丁茶

作者：宝昌

攒成一枚钉子。嵌进沸水
我以为它会痛，会哭出声来

而它，渐渐舒展
像是习惯了异乡，紧裹的心事
乌云一样缓缓散开

Ku Ding Cha

by Bao Chang

Twisted like a nail. Embedded into boiling water
I thought it would ache and cry out

But it slowly stretched to open up and relax
as if used to live far from home, those tightly wrapped thoughts （= 曾一度客居他乡）
cleared away quietly like dark heavy clouds

中秋，我的父母就坐在相框里

作者：卢辉

每年中秋，住在天国的父母
都会结伴回到家里，他们东瞧瞧西看看
走累了，就坐在相框里
歇一歇

On Mid-Autumn Days, My Parents Would Sit in the Photo Frame

by Lu Hui

Every Mid-Autumn Day, my parents now in heaven
would come back home, looking around each room
and sit in the photo frame, when feeling tired  （= 当感到坐累时，... ...）
to rest a bit

初中新版语文教科书

作者：韦笳

砍！砍！砍！
横眉冷对的鲁迅仿佛成了鬼子
被砍的最多

主编的理由很简单：救救孩子！
匕首是凶器，投枪不安全

New Editions of Middle School Literacy Textbooks

by Wei Jia

Cut，Cut, Cut
As if Lu Xun, the fierce-bound and coolly-defied writer became
an enemy, whose works were replaced the most

The editor-in-chief has a simple excuse: Save the children!
knives are weapons and spears are dangerous, as those works  （= 画蛇添足）

作者: 朱峰 时间: 2018-10-22 08:20

李世纯发表于 2018-10-20 12:08
苦丁茶

作者：宝昌

这个接受，会修改一下。谢谢。有兴趣其他优胜作品可以翻译一下。
另外，同样内容请不要重复发帖好吗？

作者: 朱峰 时间: 2018-10-22 08:29
苦丁茶

作者：宝昌

攒成一枚钉子。嵌进沸水
我以为它会痛，会哭出声来

而它，渐渐舒展
像是习惯了异乡，紧裹的心事
乌云一样缓缓散开

Ku Ding Cha

by Bao Chang

Twisted like a nail. Embedded into boiling water
I thought it would ache and cry out

But it slowly stretched to open up and relax
as if got used to live in exile, those tightly wrapped thoughts
cleared away quietly like dark heavy clouds

（修改）

作者: 李世纯 时间: 2018-10-22 09:30

朱峰发表于 2018-10-22 08:20
这个接受，会修改一下。谢谢。有兴趣其他优胜作品可以翻译一下。
另外，同样内容请不要重复发帖好吗？

苦丁茶

作者：宝昌

攒成一枚钉子。嵌进沸水
我以为它会痛，会哭出声来

而它，渐渐舒展
像是习惯了异乡，紧裹的心事
乌云一样缓缓散开

Ku Ding Cha

by Bao Chang

Twisted like a nail. Embedded into boiling water
I thought it would ache and cry out

But it slowly stretched to open up and relax
as if got used to live in exile, those tightly wrapped thoughts （= 依旧相左中文）
cleared away quietly like dark heavy clouds

（修改）

----------------------------------------------

另外，同样错误内容请不要重复发帖好吗？

作者: 大河原 时间: 2018-10-22 09:48
as if got used to the strange land ?

作者: 李世纯 时间: 2018-10-22 11:31

大河原发表于 2018-10-22 09:48
as if got used to the strange land ?

错上加错，大河兄

作者: 李世纯 时间: 2018-10-22 11:32

李世纯发表于 2018-10-22 11:31
错上加错，大河兄

上周作业？

作者: 李世纯 时间: 2018-10-22 11:32

李世纯发表于 2018-10-22 11:31
错上加错，大河兄

上周作业？

作者: 李世纯 时间: 2018-10-22 11:34

大河原发表于 2018-10-22 09:48
as if got used to the strange land ?

学峰，大河，二位仁兄：

老师发卷一周整
考场已鸣三遍鈡！
交卷！
交卷！
在不交卷没文凭！

----------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ --------------------------------

学峰：大河：朋友：有请：

小弟不揣冒昧，首译《独木舟 Canoe》之上
领教学峰仁兄，惠译《独木舟 Canoe》之中、下
领教大河仁兄，惠译《独木舟 Canoe》之中、下

体例不限，直译，意译，均可；何如？

文献参考：

独木舟

作者：季思 · 道格拉斯（英）
翻译：朱峰

好吧，我想这也许是我的最后一个
夏天了，却不愿失去哪怕一丁点儿
快乐，在这毫无新意的
闲暇时光里。我不再恐惧

不管背后徘徊着怎样的宿命
草儿，树木以及昏睡的河流
他们知道自己将会与世长存
彼此交流着炎热季节里完全

低迷无望的声音。是什么突如其来的
厄运会阻止我殷切地期望明年的
归来？吹一声口哨，我就会听到并在
另一个夜晚赶来，当这只小船

载着你独自去往以弗里小镇：
当你躺下盼望天空中雷声再起,
这凉凉的触摸不是雨，
是我的灵魂在你唇边轻吻。

作者: 李世纯 时间: 2018-10-22 11:34

大河原发表于 2018-10-22 09:48
as if got used to the strange land ?

作者: 大河原 时间: 2018-10-22 12:03

李世纯发表于 2018-10-22 11:31
错上加错，大河兄

汗！
你这样说话太吞吞吐吐，绕来绕去，就直接给出你的译文不行？

作者: 大河原 时间: 2018-10-22 12:04

李世纯发表于 2018-10-22 11:32
上周作业？

没领什么作业

作者: 李世纯 时间: 2018-10-22 16:03

大河原发表于 2018-10-22 12:04
没领什么作业

发表于 2018-10-18 12:04 | 只看该作者
https://www.poemhunter.com/keith-douglas/biography/

Douglas described his poetic style as 'extrospective'; that is, he focused on external impressions rather than inner emotions. The result is a poetry which, according to his detractors, can be callous in the midst of war's atrocities. For others, Douglas's work is powerful and unsettling because its exact descriptions eschew egotism and shift the burden of emotion from the poet to the reader. His best poetry is generally considered to rank alongside the twentieth-century's finest soldier-poetry.

In his poem, "Desert Flowers" (1943), Douglas mentions World War I poet Isaac Rosenberg claiming that he is only repeating what "Isaac" has already written.

Early Life

Douglas was born in Tunbridge Wells, Kent, the son of Capt. Keith Sholto Douglas, MC (retired) and Marie Josephine Castellain. His mother became unwell and collapsed in 1924 of encephalitis lethargica, never to fully recover. By 1926, the chicken farm set up by his father had collapsed. Douglas was sent to a preparatory school (Edgeborough School in Guildford) the same year. The family became increasingly poor, and his father had to leave home in early 1928 to seek better employment in Wales. The persistent ill-health of Marie led to the collapse of the marriage of his parents by the end of that year, and his father remarried in 1930. Douglas was deeply hurt by his father not communicating with him after 1928, and when Capt. Douglas did write at last in 1938, Keith did not agree to meet him. In one of his letters written in 1940 Douglas looked back on his childhood: "I lived alone during the most fluid and formative years of my life, and during that time I lived on my imagination, which was so powerful as to persuade me that the things I imagined would come true."

Education

Marie Douglas faced extreme financial distress, so much so that only the generosity of the Edgeborough headmaster Mr. James permitted Douglas to attend school in 1930–1931, his last year there. Douglas sat in 1931 for the entrance examination to Christ's Hospital, where education was free and there was monetary assistance to cover all other costs. He was accepted, and joined Christ's Hospital, near Horsham, in September 1931, studying there till 1938. It was at this school that his considerable poetic talent and artistic ability were recognised. So was his cavalier attitude to authority and property, which nearly led to expulsion in 1935 over a purloined training rifle. In surprising contrast, he excelled as a member of the school's Officers Training Corps, particularly enjoying drill, although he was philosophically opposed to militarism.

University

After his bruising brush with authority in 1935, Douglas settled down to a less troubled and more productive period at school, during which he excelled both at studies and games, and at the end of which he won an Open Exhibition to Merton College, Oxford in 1938 to read History and English. The well-known poet Edmund Blunden was his tutor at Merton, and regarded his poetic talent highly. Blunden sent his poems to T. S. Eliot, the doyen of English poetry: Eliot found Douglas impressive. Douglas became the editor of The Cherwell, and one of the poets anthologised in the collection Eight Oxford Poets (1942), although by the time that volume appeared he was already in the army. He does not seem to have been acquainted with somewhat junior but contemporary Oxford poets like Sidney Keyes, Drummond Allison, John Heath-Stubbs, Philip Larkin, etc. who would make names for themselves.

At Oxford, Douglas entered a relationship with a sophisticated Chinese student named Yingcheng. Her own sentiments towards him were less intense, and she refused to marry him. Yingcheng remained the unrequited love of Douglas's life and the source of his best romantic verse, despite his involvements with other women later, most notably Milena Guiterrez Penya.

Military Service

Within days of the declaration of war he reported to an army recruiting centre with the intention of joining a cavalry regiment, but like many others keen to serve he had to wait, and it was not until July 1940 that he started his training. On 1 February 1941 he passed out from Sandhurst, the British Army officer training academy, and was posted to the Second Derbyshire Yeomanry at Ripon. He was shipped to the Middle East in July 1941 and transferred to the Nottinghamshire (Sherwood Rangers) Yeomanry. Posted initially at Cairo and Palestine, he found himself stuck at Headquarters twenty miles behind El Alamein as a camouflage officer as the Second Battle of El Alamein began. At dawn on 24 October 1942, the Regiment advanced, and suffered numerous casualties from enemy anti-tank guns. Chafing at inactivity, Douglas took off against orders on 27 October, drove to the Regimental HQ in a truck, and reported to the C.O., Colonel E.O. Kellett, lying that he had been instructed to go to the front (luckily this escapade did not land him in serious trouble; in a reprise of 1935, Douglas got off with an apology). Desperately needing officer replacements, the Colonel posted him to A Squadron, and gave him the opportunity to take part as a fighting tanker in the Eighth Army's victorious sweep through North Africa vividly recounted in his beautiful memoir Alamein to Zem Zem, illustrated with his own drawings.

Death

Captain Douglas returned from North Africa to England in December 1943 and took part in the D-Day invasion of Normandy on 6 June 1944. He was killed by enemy mortar fire on 9 June, while the Regiment was advancing from Bayeux. The regimental chaplain buried him by a hedge near to where he died. His remains now lie in Tilly-sur-Seulles War Cemetery.

Keith Douglas's Works:

Selected Poems (Keith Douglas, J.C. Hall, Norman Nicholson) (1943)
Alamein to Zem Zem (1946), reprinted 1966
Collected Poems (1951), reprinted 1966
Selected Poems (Faber 1964)
The Complete Poems (1978), reprinted in 1987 and 1997
Alldritt, Keith. Modernism in the Second World War
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作者: 李世纯 时间: 2018-10-22 16:04

大河原发表于 2018-10-22 12:04
没领什么作业

作者: 李世纯 时间: 2018-10-22 16:07

大河原发表于 2018-10-22 12:04
没领什么作业

这些是作业草稿，确认作业大家没见到

作者: 大河原 时间: 2018-10-22 18:30
我们隔着千山万水，还是就此别过。

作者: 柔丝君 时间: 2018-10-29 21:09
欣赏！问好。

作者: 冬雪马 时间: 2018-11-8 22:40
问候朱峰老师！

在此一直秉承学习，谦虚的美德，但没想到被精神病人滥用。本想对此精神病人宽容，但最近病人的精神病又复发，到处Shit。看来我的高尔夫得打勤点。

这就是土鳖

以前可怜病人，以青蛙代称，现在看来对病入膏肓的精神病人直接称土鳖较好

，不需怜悯。

作者: 大河原 时间: 2018-11-9 07:00

冬雪马发表于 2018-11-8 22:40
问候朱峰老师！

在此一直秉承学习，谦虚的美德，但没想到被精神病人滥用。本想对此精神病人宽 ...

汗，我误读了你那首作品。

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