作者:查尔斯.布考斯基
N% t: Z/ B" e. ]# c* x翻译:莫笑愚; h4 J* Q+ [% Y% e& _
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# r% {: Y' s) s" p) }/ ?1 K9 \《自杀的孩子》! C. j5 L, N3 A0 R2 [
$ ^. Q/ b0 r% L7 S; d/ f我去了最糟的酒吧; Z: _$ _+ D' A1 _
指望在那儿
- v2 k- k6 C* h5 q3 U7 e. d被谋杀。
- |) Q) k7 l) z( s) j7 j) F但我所能做的只是* l! F k8 m6 J }3 r9 b X
再次将自己' E0 W6 a7 S. o7 c0 V
灌醉。. C9 j" J G, h# \
更糟的是,酒友们甚至
1 |: z1 t8 ?. B# N1 X& s开始
; G$ A; J$ f% q& Z' U7 g3 H7 v! i喜欢我了。$ B. [( C3 T7 k# a, T
我在那儿只想惹怒别人! Z4 n q( w: {/ D; V3 B9 X4 L
并被推入黑暗的4 d5 C8 E' G; w7 `# x5 n6 _
深渊* l% w* n3 o) I1 ]0 n. T+ p
结果是我赢得了
# j8 |; e0 _/ A; i免费饮品# p5 P, s9 }9 g; {$ h2 F7 G3 g
恰逢某地
1 G3 A3 M2 T/ F F9 C某个
2 d, m. j2 Y; h+ {8 r# O龟儿子躺在医院的
; r8 ^5 w' Q7 V/ Q! l' a2 Q1 A3 [- a病床上,( g* C4 R0 f; L
全身插满了* [" M' N* |! S* T' l+ }$ \* B
管子
4 g/ c$ ?+ G4 H% i" F为了活着,他拼命挣扎 J( I$ b) J: e2 w: S
使出了吃奶的劲。
! |9 z# t% `$ m4 z无人会助我
0 w* C+ H, h- H* ]# g; m/ c死亡% X* [# T1 u9 F3 A |
当我们畅饮
1 d5 u( X) l& I: S, k达旦,! K& _% g: t! u, h
当第二天
5 J" `" R+ d" l等着我1 Z4 u6 R0 ]2 q: w3 u& K* V `3 l
用它的钢钳,
" J, l+ X% i3 ?( d用它臭气熏天的4 {6 Z/ F5 Q0 R8 m
匿名,
6 L+ }" Y7 E5 K+ z# Q2 o" n- \ K; p. Z# W它暧昧的& p- M" I9 c* L
态度。
& w6 L) g. V3 ?# m. q死亡并非总是) B! e3 k* h$ [3 k9 Z# W$ w% I0 j
如期而至
: H' f6 o( u0 E5 o当你呼唤
2 \: S9 _ f1 H, M2 z它,
_/ [1 U7 |4 D' X哪怕你从一个
- y3 `, D5 Y' W+ w2 i闪光的
' a7 r' [1 ]$ Q城堡6 y I6 p7 K$ t7 x
或者从一艘远洋游轮2 I) r- a2 }4 Y1 T, V# |
或者从地球上
! z/ ~+ U$ s/ z/ q! Z最好(或最差)% u+ K% U" X8 O6 E1 A
的酒吧呼) \8 E0 D0 @5 i
唤它。, T1 l# P* N- `2 Q0 S1 p
如此无礼6 C1 ^% F. G0 U# h3 L2 v
只会令众神 D5 C% U9 |+ A$ Y
犹豫并" J+ j1 Y% S" s6 o
推迟死期。
5 r( k7 E k, @' C$ [问我:我已 o9 r2 W8 I5 t0 i( J
72岁了。 g3 a9 `/ ?9 a" [3 e# r0 }
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《致拿走我诗歌的荡妇》
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有人说该让悔恨远离
+ ?9 [# |* W2 d+ s0 H7 L诗歌,/ r& V( X" T6 Z. n! ~9 r- o% z
该抽象,这貌似有理,3 |3 ~; w1 y9 `6 w Z) Q# ?9 F
但是耶稣啊;! k/ X& Y( K j: J2 d
12首诗歌失踪了我连尸首也找不到而你还拿走了2 k4 H( m/ A/ W- ?1 a* w; X7 Z
我的
/ G% ]- ^% O: J油画,我最好的墨宝; 这令我窒息;8 A4 u- E9 {3 j2 o( \' W/ o" ?2 V
难道你也像她们一样要榨干我的皮?
% X* F% K/ m9 E* r为何不拿走我的现金?她们通常会从一个醉醺醺
, U% t4 h3 |5 C j( ?( F昏睡在角落的醉鬼裤兜里拿走金钱, X( G- p! T3 |! h# `2 i
下次就拿走我的左臂或者一张50元的钞票8 }- i/ h! p' i/ r+ ?$ f1 U
但不要拿走我的诗歌:5 d4 j4 d% k( u$ C8 G
我并非莎士比亚0 e1 q& I8 @+ z- K! M3 u7 u7 H
但有时候就是- L) E! }' z9 R
再也不会有诗歌,抽象或其它;
7 z M, @( k% g# i8 b2 Z. r但钱和荡妇和醉鬼却总是遍地皆是
) e6 N2 o- q/ h' i5 @' C, h, t直至最后一枚炸弹,2 Q# x$ R7 F8 S J
但正如上帝所说,7 P+ U- X3 A5 [; n6 T$ K
当他翘着二郎腿儿,
7 ?4 p! i& u0 g4 E' U% d% a我知道我在何处造就了许多诗人
' X% J/ r7 I: Y7 ~而并非众多
7 [' o/ [! o" U9 b5 N0 L, v诗歌。
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) @4 I0 r3 m" ?( ~! @附英文原文:
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THE SUICIDE KID
7 x6 t6 A3 D0 h6 p2 j1 ]by Charles Bukowski% U5 P( [% M" w( [2 U
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I went to the worst of bars. [. K4 a5 ^* G# c
hoping to get; X+ |8 X/ X- `" [
killed.* H3 i) S% L2 y4 n% G9 |, d
but all I could do was to
! ]" ?+ q+ M; |, ?: P8 wget drunk- v7 `4 O* t& A
again.
. s: B- o5 r! H. dworse, the bar patrons even4 T4 z- x# h- p4 ~* g
ended up1 T3 O/ F) {8 K% i4 r
liking me.
" a9 ?) ~, x& y/ d# D% ythere I was trying to get0 ] s z+ E$ W6 h7 x1 H
pushed over the dark
4 R9 J3 J' @4 s. d5 X/ e% Yedge1 A* [- r6 p5 ?
and I ended up with8 P2 c: b! q5 Z# f
free drinks2 a1 q0 T4 v: h2 B; o
while somewhere else
* o1 w z- d3 o% [: t) l* d' v& hsome poor
9 m4 P; _6 C. R1 Oson-of-a-bitch was in a hospital
1 M; G! J# s# o, U4 O. q- I6 }* rbed,' z* s0 \5 I# Y3 t/ ?# D8 M) r
tubes sticking out all over. i( H* p( ~! |/ }$ O$ _5 Z; D/ ^! X
him
4 S$ D5 y9 v; w, U* qas he fought like hell
+ P% r. |" O# m9 G. z; w, zto live.* c0 O+ D1 N" d' e2 {
nobody would help me& g7 \/ a; z9 t, o+ x: M6 O( K1 Z
die as
8 }, R* D4 [% x* o+ O; A7 T: [the drinks kept6 _/ y1 \0 H; l8 L
coming,. f X8 f, l `4 U+ ?. p5 ^
as the next day& i! a$ ]9 n8 v0 Q" ^$ o. _3 o
waited for me' Z! F$ c. I5 g7 D% }' @
with its steel clamps,
# K/ U) l# Z# d' [( }its stinking! D! @8 K# F$ W
anonymity,8 N9 _. w0 }$ k1 L4 M* U
its incognisant ; _" B( G3 n5 A5 A0 [
attitude.4 B9 W8 q2 a( V# O
death doesn’t always' @8 }9 R6 K7 t4 v
come running8 \' A8 F+ R; ]% k
when you call
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" H) W z& B( x7 I, H7 w/ Q& lnot even if you( ^, I" _1 [: \' C9 ^% o
call it$ h q7 e! S2 g# w
from a shining% I+ T+ m8 E5 R! j
castle8 `) h9 a7 v; O9 g2 P
or from an ocean liner
/ l7 D3 A$ y$ N3 x) Gor from the best bar4 s$ O9 B1 i7 Z n' l
on earth (or the
) ^- A1 V7 j$ n5 Y! Qworst).
) g0 k% A0 m8 e9 t0 U! f- ^such impertinence
% \, g2 Y7 y! }1 Y( |; W8 Wonly makes the gods
) K! e6 B8 M; z, L% S) Ahesitate and8 r* \% c$ }6 b7 j& k0 L& v
delay.2 C4 U0 p( n) Q2 d) L
ask me: I’m( d$ ]* B( z/ A; [+ b/ t- }
72./ g/ w! H9 l: \8 |$ L
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TO THE WHORE WHO TOOK MY POEMS
7 D# X8 L' G" J' A' s5 fBY CHARLES BUKOWSKI
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5 d6 g& A# O' h9 C+ i4 y: `& u/ z1 a: I# Osome say we should keep personal remorse from the 3 ~( ]- L$ b/ {! v
poem,8 [- w' [ ^7 k) p' t/ A# o0 x
stay abstract, and there is some reason in this,; F6 C0 [1 V" M$ h
but jezus;
' q" m) M3 l+ o* a% g5 Ztwelve poems gone and I don't keep carbons and you have% x! [; q4 z9 N$ u3 d, U- ^
my . k- ~0 D& r- o5 l. g5 V4 T/ ]
paintings too, my best ones; it's stifling;
2 B# G/ d# K( }4 aare you trying to crush me out like the rest of them?
8 B$ I/ E# ^' Uwhy didn't you take my money? they usually do9 K) T5 w$ r+ E' \2 ?0 n8 J
from the sleeping drunken pants sick in the corner.
+ I( k' w% ], `+ _" n; @4 {next time take my left arm or a fifty" j6 k" H9 }, L
but not my poems:$ O% s% s/ s; V# a2 O1 m
I'm not Shakespeare A7 o9 O; T8 Q! X6 B+ H
but sometime simply9 ^# x* ^5 B" h8 O
there won't be any more, abstract or otherwise;
$ ]- j! v1 G. S0 m6 ~- Cthere'll always be money and whores and drunkards5 k, a. {1 |) g8 K L6 k
down to the last bomb,
/ W! }/ I3 X# y( L! B* C2 \but as God said,. k+ ?3 M8 L% \! w \' H& C
crossing his legs,
. f$ Y( r# x2 c. s AI see where I have made plenty of poets
% [4 u( a3 t; B% O* a3 Zbut not so very much
2 h) ], L! n6 I6 V$ v' X$ m% K4 |. ?poetry.0 g' @& J9 i2 v. n* s
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