作者:查尔斯.布考斯基
' k B( _' N) d5 B% } ^翻译:莫笑愚6 U" X/ G# H& G9 U
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《自杀的孩子》9 s/ j" A) |* t5 j- X
. a v1 R0 U- p- C: l0 Y& H5 r/ P- a3 g我去了最糟的酒吧( A' n! K& m' r0 i) V" r
指望在那儿# J9 U- D! Q) `1 J
被谋杀。6 ]' O1 c, K8 J& {
但我所能做的只是2 `( L3 g+ p, w* [! h
再次将自己6 N( X8 L) P: o! m5 o' ~, ~
灌醉。
8 N3 p" | g* i更糟的是,酒友们甚至
+ ]2 `9 k0 Y7 v! W- L开始+ g- P2 I- q# `( d
喜欢我了。
% F) L: S( i' N& H7 v) ^% [- O我在那儿只想惹怒别人" V# x: _1 `+ O1 O, @, ^2 l
并被推入黑暗的
7 K) P& W6 X5 D深渊
, e( o5 l( }! {; K/ a/ Z结果是我赢得了( m/ T3 `. {' Y# W
免费饮品
! c( o& H+ C6 x( B2 \) Q `+ {恰逢某地
7 h) N9 i9 @( o4 |4 [: M7 o某个
) S* [1 {+ j" L- f龟儿子躺在医院的0 e, r7 K' B7 l* a3 S) Q
病床上,( P/ f* m% O' l& u1 x- P& f
全身插满了
1 _( K# j# ]4 ~$ v5 Q* j0 l管子
t* z q- X% z6 Z为了活着,他拼命挣扎+ [9 I$ p: ?+ F8 r; Z, m8 o
使出了吃奶的劲。2 a' }0 d8 D. y5 q% V$ u
无人会助我( a1 S. @. j& R
死亡
) l- }# \5 p1 n; L1 P当我们畅饮
. C1 B& n, n, P1 r1 L达旦," Z p1 O$ o& W4 i7 W. ^$ L) r
当第二天
: o5 Y: @& Y7 A+ f m1 T* @: e J等着我
8 ^0 R+ H4 v# f7 Y& ^$ o" K# b用它的钢钳,
/ d1 u: f, i; s; I* D; [/ x用它臭气熏天的! G6 R2 v/ J9 h% W
匿名,/ t* M, g+ |& ?! ?/ g' ]. v, e
它暧昧的
# l0 d9 u% }& J" ?) Y9 t态度。# D: v/ ]9 [; f
死亡并非总是7 [1 y% q8 ?# X" S2 F" `9 H( y/ v& U
如期而至
7 g& O$ E: Y' h: f3 l$ z, E* P当你呼唤7 x( T6 i7 m1 m- p) @7 m1 u
它,$ W! ^" w" n) ]) E, _- I
哪怕你从一个) b3 D" S8 ]2 z1 @
闪光的
8 R, J! ~. S5 ?% l. T城堡
- ?2 y/ n2 Q# l或者从一艘远洋游轮, O4 F: G7 [5 |7 h o
或者从地球上4 Q* Q3 ]+ ?- p0 d) ^7 C! u. Q
最好(或最差)9 [, Z: S1 Q! h/ y
的酒吧呼( N6 A0 ?) b& u
唤它。6 n8 R7 F( L4 _
如此无礼
$ K/ \' k# \- W$ Y. t5 Z只会令众神% O+ ^7 i# C9 N& o+ t$ w
犹豫并
+ I9 `. M& x! U% l/ d推迟死期。
% U3 y/ x% Q0 v$ R) N5 L问我:我已
) U( ]' ?5 }/ q/ D: ?: L; [72岁了。 _3 m* r; D& k! \2 p
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. L! Y0 x4 {6 M4 p" {《致拿走我诗歌的荡妇》
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% J/ C1 O3 p, T; x, ]6 l( f- a! ?有人说该让悔恨远离% h- E9 n6 J3 v; L& [$ c
诗歌,
7 s! B+ e t6 Z* X. U& ?1 F; y该抽象,这貌似有理,
/ F P* X8 S8 G! t0 @# u3 e但是耶稣啊;
- J# M) A, g7 R12首诗歌失踪了我连尸首也找不到而你还拿走了
% L( M) L" w$ W; ~) u1 \" p) [我的
2 E* i% Z4 `! g3 Q# C油画,我最好的墨宝; 这令我窒息;. ]' S4 X$ h: Y' t$ \$ ]
难道你也像她们一样要榨干我的皮?
! Q# J5 n) j2 V) I! L$ O# I为何不拿走我的现金?她们通常会从一个醉醺醺
7 O) ^1 h3 R, {+ `6 ]& d! K8 ]昏睡在角落的醉鬼裤兜里拿走金钱
( y$ Y' b- W- y! ~0 T! Y, H下次就拿走我的左臂或者一张50元的钞票
9 w5 R! N! j# Z9 C但不要拿走我的诗歌:& T; h1 h. f' I
我并非莎士比亚+ _7 n* j' P. \5 p+ P
但有时候就是7 ?/ x# f5 g8 y$ @- p/ X
再也不会有诗歌,抽象或其它;
0 ?6 W3 \" [( @0 X9 }但钱和荡妇和醉鬼却总是遍地皆是1 A7 ]* Z: R \
直至最后一枚炸弹,& E0 ?$ e' P" e, u9 X
但正如上帝所说,
- e1 m$ ? s. X, x& e w1 m r当他翘着二郎腿儿,( z( I, R2 I8 ^9 N3 n) |
我知道我在何处造就了许多诗人7 n. l- r/ T) O, F" ]5 `' R
而并非众多9 I# ]: G% c4 I5 e0 ^) _1 `/ L( G
诗歌。
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附英文原文:
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THE SUICIDE KID
1 O: B0 @& S; r+ w/ s d8 Iby Charles Bukowski
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I went to the worst of bars
) ~, w8 o. H4 V. |hoping to get
, m3 ]6 H+ X) c5 }* E" J3 w, Zkilled.
4 M3 e+ c" r+ p; V2 ibut all I could do was to8 @1 s5 D3 r- _
get drunk% A3 {) @2 Z/ k3 ?- m1 k
again.. ^( t( y @$ M% a# y
worse, the bar patrons even
' R) @7 T! h; [: Kended up
# N$ N6 \+ |0 p, n% N6 iliking me.
}4 F) h9 l6 ~: Wthere I was trying to get, Z9 p$ Q$ E8 Y7 g- Y7 p
pushed over the dark- H5 r' u3 m9 @* k6 h7 ~" [
edge
* `( g7 ~! j) sand I ended up with7 g3 v$ E- Q% N: I' z
free drinks% e- J7 Q8 `9 P6 u
while somewhere else7 q1 b4 I- |! W
some poor3 w) A- O6 `# J: E/ b4 G% m. j- w
son-of-a-bitch was in a hospital
' J1 s ]* b9 ^9 A Lbed,
; {1 u" o- X7 Q. o* F- Ltubes sticking out all over
) @5 z) P$ W" Q0 q7 dhim/ v, D" L4 D5 K* ~
as he fought like hell0 p3 A: T% R& U7 c
to live.$ P9 n# q, d( H3 J1 G
nobody would help me) }2 y. x4 c6 E; U! Y7 X- O2 m! I+ u
die as9 }* f- ]. M1 t' \; X' U. ^. c* C. A
the drinks kept# |; E( u) p+ J
coming,. o: Y# M. g- B T) Y* m; o
as the next day6 a% B* i7 P, a* j' X6 O2 U
waited for me
$ [7 [% v# X+ N- B- b$ H, Kwith its steel clamps,
2 s) @ g& f4 B1 D# _" vits stinking% B" r1 l q1 s
anonymity,
0 c9 C/ o9 w1 \its incognisant
5 y2 q, E6 z4 H: cattitude. [, _1 G. ?4 V5 j9 `
death doesn’t always
) W2 C9 J: v: P# b0 `come running/ |9 g# u( C1 h9 A. N+ u8 \
when you call
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not even if you' b) I2 c. s7 K* P- T
call it
2 b) y. O3 }4 v7 {! A5 {0 Bfrom a shining! q% z# b" M1 h/ {( r
castle( P0 P8 c# k5 I+ j M) u
or from an ocean liner
0 h Z# g. m' l0 x; kor from the best bar
7 q2 P- Y# {6 c# T- fon earth (or the
; v8 ] }: u: y6 H1 Q' Xworst).9 I2 Z7 u: k6 q+ y9 A8 I
such impertinence
9 \4 A' q0 T( W( @* O" m. Ponly makes the gods
9 H' S/ n( i/ Q! bhesitate and: Y2 A0 `( J+ \
delay.
+ U7 A/ t2 u. `* Nask me: I’m1 l6 J! t# S! m5 t
72.
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TO THE WHORE WHO TOOK MY POEMS% y; B7 Z5 c+ f
BY CHARLES BUKOWSKI0 V. g8 x: Q1 M- a$ V9 u
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) ^9 w# P5 R. r! _ i; Jsome say we should keep personal remorse from the
9 F6 N2 j1 o Q7 Cpoem,0 V, l% I) q3 P9 k, [! W }
stay abstract, and there is some reason in this,
- F# z$ k% R, \5 @ X+ g! Tbut jezus;/ y* I$ l- }9 o% u/ Z
twelve poems gone and I don't keep carbons and you have. y8 f/ E8 d h5 A
my ( p# C1 }. J! q J( h
paintings too, my best ones; it's stifling;
/ F" \! }' D5 hare you trying to crush me out like the rest of them?
. W$ f2 v1 A& q5 Lwhy didn't you take my money? they usually do
7 s: o3 c+ @, |5 }- pfrom the sleeping drunken pants sick in the corner.
0 L6 \& _7 N: qnext time take my left arm or a fifty9 V# g" @' s) S0 R2 a0 ]
but not my poems:: p9 J: v, |# _/ ?* _0 g
I'm not Shakespeare% B$ w" y6 j/ W4 E& i
but sometime simply: W7 I' X) s' U Z1 _0 U
there won't be any more, abstract or otherwise;
% q$ E1 k# \) tthere'll always be money and whores and drunkards
( V0 }% N* }$ A. odown to the last bomb,# i6 N: ^# k& k
but as God said,
) ]4 u7 a" B5 C5 }) z% q( H# ~; {crossing his legs,4 j5 T& h2 [- ?0 X
I see where I have made plenty of poets) z3 {0 Y, G/ [+ d' d& b) I
but not so very much
$ q% n S% E. A1 G- F7 wpoetry.
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