作者:查尔斯.布考斯基
' d. b; Q! ?- f翻译:莫笑愚" k4 M2 i+ _( d! \; }4 K
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: r" N( @# }# c《自杀的孩子》1 |' Q9 M* F' I# P9 W w% [
w0 t z+ ^" n* d9 ?. u$ z: _我去了最糟的酒吧7 o" W$ D9 m( X z' e
指望在那儿
/ h) O1 X6 v1 w* l2 |被谋杀。
+ p( h# e- l+ S1 }5 q& M. b但我所能做的只是5 }) i& h+ r7 w+ U0 G
再次将自己
) K, f% ~+ P: H Z0 p灌醉。
) e0 s- q) h9 X; h. F更糟的是,酒友们甚至
! ~+ I* {" _ w8 W" K: |开始/ U7 s, H& t1 g0 v, S2 k
喜欢我了。
: u# n2 V( ?/ Z我在那儿只想惹怒别人
1 f+ b' C5 E$ K9 H: K. ?并被推入黑暗的
7 I+ q6 G2 n$ e% Q9 ?# n深渊9 H0 E6 } L9 `; J
结果是我赢得了( Z% D: O/ w( A/ P" X, `. s6 z
免费饮品# h7 ?/ a" Q2 E
恰逢某地+ S4 {) j. ~3 Z k5 g' }' Y2 j5 Z
某个9 P0 f. [8 r* I" o* }8 \1 i" P% w
龟儿子躺在医院的
( R9 }; |( U: L% C病床上,
$ S e3 X6 u% Z) A* n! p全身插满了
+ Q% n& {. F# L1 D1 H) C管子
) a# O3 w. i* B/ y+ E6 p为了活着,他拼命挣扎
: I4 W( O" ~1 J$ v" M# d使出了吃奶的劲。
e4 x6 m& i- @; s6 H& f) A无人会助我
- ^! z$ z& O+ w, T/ m, |7 \死亡5 E5 ?9 T8 [" a
当我们畅饮
i$ A# o4 ^2 |+ ^$ A3 G达旦,
' s9 n) }% u5 N9 E. C5 ^) ^当第二天% t+ M/ M- p0 e
等着我# r+ I f' R4 T
用它的钢钳,# ]2 a; R4 S- t4 }3 E1 u9 B
用它臭气熏天的) v" C5 {- E* q0 V
匿名,1 v( G6 q, Z F3 a" j
它暧昧的) o% J; h* c* w- A
态度。& k) P, d6 u9 c/ m( ~0 k
死亡并非总是8 w' s% q+ H$ [' T/ I
如期而至
7 Q' e: |- ^" o当你呼唤
6 [8 n) V# ~$ ]" w# Z+ G它,
# L* G6 P$ j+ T) q9 ] w: J, L哪怕你从一个
; }" F, H3 G" ]闪光的. N' L: O9 O8 J2 G! x
城堡
# E: ]- V8 e, ]$ j- ?, ]1 V5 x+ E或者从一艘远洋游轮
& Q% H- z0 U) m. N+ U& N或者从地球上" ?) O1 L& ?' I: Q7 Z% K6 v; U
最好(或最差)( [. E% U$ \" U+ f# Q; D# n3 J# r
的酒吧呼
* V/ x H: J! m% P# E3 L唤它。
$ X. @8 i# m0 N' A如此无礼
' g4 `5 g" h1 K7 f! y0 |% {8 W" d只会令众神
& M _* {2 y. D& o m! ?犹豫并( }3 x5 f3 x$ N4 J, v' {
推迟死期。
( I `4 O6 d s# [/ E$ j问我:我已* X. z4 ?3 s; S/ s! Y3 k9 v4 A
72岁了。: ?, B5 C! ]- H! h/ ]5 R
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《致拿走我诗歌的荡妇》$ j% F8 d: ]( [* ^# n) l
: j; \0 k: L6 Q, @& T有人说该让悔恨远离1 b, \ O8 Z) W2 I; D3 e
诗歌,
* T; G7 Q8 Y$ d该抽象,这貌似有理,
, h- \+ l7 S( r9 u& z: P0 L" Y3 m但是耶稣啊;: O% J6 q! k( {& T; s
12首诗歌失踪了我连尸首也找不到而你还拿走了
' A2 [# `* j1 ~我的0 C* \" {( ~& a& p
油画,我最好的墨宝; 这令我窒息;
* \! `+ E# A4 \难道你也像她们一样要榨干我的皮?
! R: c$ w. w: {5 \' i为何不拿走我的现金?她们通常会从一个醉醺醺8 x& r9 @" k; u p! v0 E
昏睡在角落的醉鬼裤兜里拿走金钱
9 E7 N( s7 I$ w下次就拿走我的左臂或者一张50元的钞票1 ^* ~$ o5 m; M2 |0 m( k% o
但不要拿走我的诗歌:- A! ^8 z, }; X) E6 ^, s/ y% ^- o
我并非莎士比亚2 X5 l# O$ c, g( `. |3 p
但有时候就是$ l" ]* r9 J2 s( d
再也不会有诗歌,抽象或其它;& S0 f- J6 @/ k* N1 t1 x; F
但钱和荡妇和醉鬼却总是遍地皆是
# f; H k& i9 H+ e# d5 z直至最后一枚炸弹,
0 j( w' S& r. w u/ g9 u. e8 ?但正如上帝所说,
' A" |7 I! G9 [8 D5 k/ [当他翘着二郎腿儿,7 c3 d, @. N4 _' ]' N1 T/ d* c
我知道我在何处造就了许多诗人
9 t+ B2 x @8 |4 H& W; N而并非众多: a8 f3 I7 F3 {5 w
诗歌。! R* L8 c& u; Y& z# F% n7 S4 V
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附英文原文:9 J4 p/ M% y$ a+ @; x4 S5 o# x
. \+ I* U+ v W- KTHE SUICIDE KID$ C& B* B; O/ G" [% J$ V
by Charles Bukowski
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4 l, W: r( Y$ h
' _& z0 I% _; Z) l+ O/ P% L0 DI went to the worst of bars
# Y+ }/ X- `' A- g# S$ X- ihoping to get
+ {9 I# [8 N% }8 k3 I0 _ }! Rkilled.
+ z% O& w4 Q4 R& I# fbut all I could do was to
2 E; [0 ?" ]3 S5 Hget drunk5 y& K- i" n& B( e+ B, t3 ^9 g& i
again.; D% p1 j$ k( Z1 u; K' @2 `0 X0 a
worse, the bar patrons even
8 b. h% X- p# K6 w+ p' Dended up
9 }2 M* ^7 V% Q0 Aliking me.
% u' X6 R7 n9 Ithere I was trying to get
5 _+ q$ }# t' f" o# ]pushed over the dark# H. f5 ]& r0 X6 v1 R6 K5 A1 p
edge8 D U9 ^" I* U# w$ v' P1 ~6 B
and I ended up with
% k' e# {4 {/ k! V1 c- J# |, [free drinks0 J( F- K6 x; K0 [. c0 C
while somewhere else
2 z# @: ]2 L" Ssome poor) S8 z g# t" g5 f; L% t# g& {3 c
son-of-a-bitch was in a hospital# U4 l1 t$ N. Z6 p! t) l
bed,- U7 B- D) a7 c6 ~+ p! t* ?
tubes sticking out all over& E$ \$ @% p- Y' n) q% q2 ?
him& J) \- t4 q( p+ |, Z$ m) t
as he fought like hell3 L6 C B( {2 V7 t/ v( g g9 B
to live.; E Y& X$ I3 ~- j3 j% a1 q8 V6 A
nobody would help me' C. F7 p9 Y1 Y
die as3 W& a& _( ^2 K% `: l6 c/ S: A
the drinks kept
$ ^8 W- `' T" R; i+ p* K# Hcoming,
3 h8 g @+ ^, q' uas the next day/ h4 a! V8 P- K8 w
waited for me
( t6 l* _4 A5 A' C% nwith its steel clamps,, C, ~; i3 A, \) ?
its stinking( k0 x( K9 c8 S
anonymity,6 d* w( C0 L/ l. Q! ]( u' N
its incognisant " T) A! U* k, W- _4 D( K/ z
attitude.
7 O, T; G0 ]9 n: Tdeath doesn’t always" L+ {, ]1 u' h3 k4 H3 B
come running
9 Y3 q5 s; n2 Q4 z. Nwhen you call
6 c% v; c6 e% I3 w4 V8 ?it,$ {' i' ]; V" b" G
not even if you4 D( D: m7 T8 ]
call it0 U1 B) j9 l% S0 Y2 j7 H
from a shining* t6 f0 @2 I/ I, l' u0 s% G9 v
castle
7 \/ O, X. F! o9 `: Bor from an ocean liner5 Y7 @9 \, j9 `3 i8 H# b5 V) m
or from the best bar" U# ]$ c" z5 K+ P
on earth (or the2 ?+ q: u) C; ~& r
worst).
9 z( y* I# n+ ksuch impertinence
7 c. D" M6 [8 o. U+ M0 ]only makes the gods
! _" T5 ]4 R; q" c) ?" [. M3 [hesitate and
& s6 z4 r5 ^+ k0 qdelay.
0 J- g/ p: i; M0 U" [ask me: I’m
3 Y4 D5 p c( |6 n! t x, m7 J/ [72.5 R. b9 ~; K+ ]2 R# e
& d6 L! \% P0 @8 f0 T. s" W# A% C2 {) n4 J9 B. l* K; N0 U# l
) J, ]0 B& g/ l$ [& pTO THE WHORE WHO TOOK MY POEMS
% j) A4 T6 s* x" @; [$ @! [BY CHARLES BUKOWSKI6 ?: j G. B; r5 I* e6 s5 w5 L
2 d7 p8 W5 j# Q: U4 l) m' _* e: }
, P6 e5 `7 K. m; L( ?" e- d
some say we should keep personal remorse from the * s9 g/ t) m% M1 e- L
poem,
3 ~- V9 t# R: r3 c5 _ |, i. Zstay abstract, and there is some reason in this,+ ^$ C* v% r1 m- T+ n
but jezus;
6 a) W8 Q$ H* ?( }+ F4 d; Btwelve poems gone and I don't keep carbons and you have
- Z: U$ o) w% Xmy
/ A9 m; e" a- ^! Vpaintings too, my best ones; it's stifling; F* ^4 ^5 T7 _4 B
are you trying to crush me out like the rest of them?1 y- _ N+ h+ Z8 W. L' g
why didn't you take my money? they usually do
2 G( K# m) F, `, Q# L! }8 d8 S6 g kfrom the sleeping drunken pants sick in the corner.
1 I7 M! Q9 {+ g7 j7 b5 E& {* Xnext time take my left arm or a fifty4 S9 c+ O9 e) c
but not my poems:" @! U) m0 O; ^( r7 W
I'm not Shakespeare
. U2 i" T& u. ]$ ~but sometime simply3 W7 M" e: {2 i7 T
there won't be any more, abstract or otherwise;0 v5 a0 Z+ H" S/ V
there'll always be money and whores and drunkards: T, H% G7 f/ b$ \3 s V
down to the last bomb," c; V0 S8 A/ b
but as God said,
3 U2 B& w5 o$ I5 Acrossing his legs,' C3 \& }, D. Z* U
I see where I have made plenty of poets
7 i$ k3 I$ _& I% ]( l9 n7 @but not so very much
: C) U2 y6 E' |4 _! X* U* |9 gpoetry.. x+ s3 v& o1 e
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