作者:查尔斯.布考斯基
" l# o# H; E" ?$ }! u翻译:莫笑愚0 j" ]! c% ?# G ^ G0 S
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《自杀的孩子》! o% D2 \( }0 C# b
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我去了最糟的酒吧
8 }. ^. P5 L, O/ o z0 Q8 ~/ a指望在那儿) U, P8 [/ r) {* Y9 n2 X
被谋杀。
) B4 i, q+ L7 G5 E+ S6 g9 b+ A但我所能做的只是
# p; a# M+ V& f, y9 x2 m再次将自己4 l/ \3 y/ @3 @0 i# V3 G
灌醉。* D2 ]3 G" e" L" @1 R
更糟的是,酒友们甚至$ W% s5 h( s8 o
开始" w& r( ?2 c& d) ?3 y
喜欢我了。
! b6 s& J- ` m, }我在那儿只想惹怒别人
; O7 ]8 g8 J S* J. T2 O- _* B并被推入黑暗的! u1 M( Z# {* N& n* U# w! u2 J
深渊
3 R: F9 y; {6 S结果是我赢得了& E; o* z% T1 ^' C6 ]
免费饮品7 R( d: U; O( J+ L1 l0 ^
恰逢某地
: b _, k. v4 d+ C, g某个
1 C. K7 B- e. K0 f- Z9 }( g3 W龟儿子躺在医院的+ O: f: s) ^0 P) g/ U- w
病床上,( P4 _2 S6 i; `$ [
全身插满了$ B7 ?2 P3 [) `
管子
% C1 r9 E' v: d) H9 |# D为了活着,他拼命挣扎
# p' d( J5 f/ `8 i" p% j% m2 ?使出了吃奶的劲。
& m6 I; R$ }3 K, H, Z' Z无人会助我8 d/ M/ d r. ]1 y
死亡1 X1 h: \2 a0 z
当我们畅饮
3 |6 k# s# ^5 p* C _- ~. C; u达旦,; g7 y' T* I+ s. R6 E/ X
当第二天/ Z8 r$ @) B& k. J
等着我
) p3 K+ K$ r) s2 q8 Y1 _# K用它的钢钳,
' D7 z% w6 }' q7 o/ X' g O( z用它臭气熏天的3 |3 f- I3 Z& Q6 v1 v
匿名,
2 P' N$ b- O& ~* D它暧昧的
9 o# L/ d4 s, c9 ]; s1 h" i态度。5 a4 M7 G( v% S: f
死亡并非总是5 a7 N# m) j1 a$ o( V. U
如期而至
. R' q7 M; x& m. t- _* C当你呼唤0 ~) u+ A9 F, H1 e6 Q3 z
它,9 }. N+ m9 m, B$ o0 Y
哪怕你从一个
* V, o& b+ F5 v& \7 `% b闪光的' Q& J2 x( q: Q) w" U: k; n
城堡: ]+ O- R) z z$ y @7 d
或者从一艘远洋游轮
" Q0 ]+ p3 d3 `" D1 t# P& W或者从地球上
4 ]& E6 c3 V {: K最好(或最差)
( x) V/ h* ~7 a. C6 ]的酒吧呼! {/ q% V/ b! J0 A
唤它。/ ^% `; c) R$ ^2 G
如此无礼
; p+ x4 p0 [9 o只会令众神6 o' T& G# S" o& b$ L. s; [
犹豫并3 g, r: A) ?1 m9 \ n) g" P
推迟死期。
& a- R3 Q! K r% U3 X1 s6 U问我:我已, [4 W' v* y' O0 o
72岁了。5 s! S* p/ Q5 V. g
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/ {6 i' I$ f' ]2 v- I《致拿走我诗歌的荡妇》" t$ d" Q" b" B; {9 _; p6 G
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有人说该让悔恨远离8 W8 D4 s, s( ^; W5 h- x9 M6 r
诗歌,
( z2 B2 c5 B' ~. G0 ~1 f& T该抽象,这貌似有理,
7 O9 V: }% S* q9 [" Z4 U但是耶稣啊;9 ^' m, e- X7 t6 N+ ^) p* h
12首诗歌失踪了我连尸首也找不到而你还拿走了) t8 X3 j6 ?+ U4 u
我的
! \* t9 w5 N5 f/ h4 e f: h2 s油画,我最好的墨宝; 这令我窒息;/ A5 h, y- G& A# x4 I" I
难道你也像她们一样要榨干我的皮?
3 k0 P) Y: I' s5 _* j$ Y W' Y为何不拿走我的现金?她们通常会从一个醉醺醺0 _% r- L1 ~% T$ y3 d* t
昏睡在角落的醉鬼裤兜里拿走金钱
( T7 U; w% p8 y I% @. C4 K, L# B下次就拿走我的左臂或者一张50元的钞票
9 K+ y7 X6 p6 Q7 i9 c但不要拿走我的诗歌:
5 s4 x5 o2 R b; Q. S+ F5 X/ `我并非莎士比亚
- ~# k7 Q9 \0 l/ Q3 s但有时候就是
: T$ T: D2 N# R8 ]! F- V4 d! V再也不会有诗歌,抽象或其它;
" q! j+ A+ N& e" a) A" D但钱和荡妇和醉鬼却总是遍地皆是
2 r2 J- f) H9 T0 L* J4 a V5 v直至最后一枚炸弹,
8 }/ D0 e; A9 S1 ~' Y' n$ s但正如上帝所说,
& q- }; w- k# M, \; @当他翘着二郎腿儿,
: l$ A& s ^- Q$ ^我知道我在何处造就了许多诗人
; w$ y2 s5 E4 g# C而并非众多2 s2 O0 u9 W7 w& K% d
诗歌。/ u# ^/ H9 T1 e
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附英文原文:
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THE SUICIDE KID/ v0 X5 V# ]8 [ F- s, K
by Charles Bukowski
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I went to the worst of bars
: ]; V- g8 V) D# A4 khoping to get
0 f3 p' u! I% D; k3 p4 S# `$ H3 Lkilled.
h: D9 d, {4 D% ]but all I could do was to
+ i: p% N( e" G3 z( X/ Y# mget drunk
- Q9 k2 ?4 G, D# I! q5 Z( Ragain.
) Z1 ]4 x; m+ \5 N( @worse, the bar patrons even, I1 \& Q0 j4 A. |9 k* I$ A
ended up
( X1 u, r8 Q9 G+ [, ?' h7 ?" Rliking me.
' \% L# T2 U- S4 _# J* g* k3 @there I was trying to get4 m2 x6 i8 E8 q( }1 r, @
pushed over the dark& k9 S a$ x/ X9 Z7 ~* m
edge0 V8 t/ Q- Z1 J% D. A. |
and I ended up with
) O1 Z/ [3 z/ o1 ~0 vfree drinks
; f4 u$ ~) v- _2 I/ \, Ewhile somewhere else& N5 U; v7 ] F5 H* x" b, w
some poor$ a$ |# a& u; F# @: W2 K
son-of-a-bitch was in a hospital
) o s/ S8 T! b$ ebed,7 P1 i; Y3 t$ \6 T
tubes sticking out all over! K, S" d/ \. |, [( e, d @
him
+ K# g6 {% l- ^9 r I# bas he fought like hell
3 d/ C% \0 i+ g( F+ M3 s K% mto live.9 D: n* R- u2 _( F, @6 Q+ Q
nobody would help me
. m- z0 I3 i& [" Bdie as
1 ]6 f7 F. I- Q% y3 l% ?: l Hthe drinks kept3 G7 F( S% o* k1 U
coming,
\3 c3 l4 O) W) J [5 ~as the next day) D. |% I2 F* M
waited for me V+ M0 ^6 x, @8 i
with its steel clamps,
, O" |8 ?6 }' Lits stinking
" [4 C' u9 P% j$ vanonymity,
7 j+ S9 o7 W0 H2 s: Yits incognisant 7 D$ k1 {/ T6 e8 w: Z. v4 V
attitude.. ^) @( e$ ^* f
death doesn’t always
& x* ^( E5 G# I8 ccome running. A; C* H1 }% G. v
when you call2 a/ b' F7 k* m$ q7 X' A
it,
& s7 n- N3 f/ F4 @ |$ V; ~not even if you& h7 v% a, H( ^5 j
call it! h3 M2 T, [& g+ o7 W! ^9 l, N
from a shining( `% \' p4 U$ a; a0 y" o. {' S
castle
& s: b4 I! F" a! w# oor from an ocean liner
3 H/ I/ z3 a( m/ a F8 Jor from the best bar
6 D+ A' \8 t- M) a* v( F: t1 eon earth (or the# S+ y3 N; I, t6 s5 h7 F7 N
worst).0 J L r; r5 a% j; T1 e
such impertinence s$ h/ O9 V: S! Y. f: r( |3 D
only makes the gods
! ]! j5 z! }5 T7 ?1 ihesitate and1 d2 i; n/ a0 T% I1 i: U q( F
delay.1 v! `3 o' d9 W$ u( p$ M+ F; j
ask me: I’m
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TO THE WHORE WHO TOOK MY POEMS
9 N; l" V! r/ c) _6 nBY CHARLES BUKOWSKI& m; a0 N) R s* x5 }$ g% x6 v
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0 t; }0 K5 C: ~" Esome say we should keep personal remorse from the
+ S" q% J+ M+ @. q" a& D e6 vpoem,
3 ^ D! s8 V3 O/ Y6 [: Ostay abstract, and there is some reason in this,* r- @/ Z; q! N3 i, T% K* \
but jezus;
E: h4 {9 I( g( Q% M. ntwelve poems gone and I don't keep carbons and you have
0 Y) Q' b" R* T6 Z2 Ymy 1 h2 q$ V& h. g& d! Q
paintings too, my best ones; it's stifling;3 k; h% V. d7 V! ~0 [
are you trying to crush me out like the rest of them?
+ h+ n C/ G# L* a) I# ^3 swhy didn't you take my money? they usually do1 k, o# M' Y# r. c6 n
from the sleeping drunken pants sick in the corner.
' F _& e, y. I' v* ^; ~next time take my left arm or a fifty O+ p( u) R- B
but not my poems:
4 e7 X# w+ l1 qI'm not Shakespeare
8 [7 w, F3 @% rbut sometime simply4 {9 Q7 q8 n" t0 J$ q
there won't be any more, abstract or otherwise;) r1 n' x$ P% E1 }4 n2 W
there'll always be money and whores and drunkards3 `/ F7 x- V, U8 z' n. z
down to the last bomb,
( {) V5 W- {& O5 Z9 bbut as God said,, s9 p# M: _* Q# P' Q7 V
crossing his legs,
! l, ^& g' }/ |I see where I have made plenty of poets/ `; F- p7 T) N7 W" r$ ^
but not so very much
+ Y7 ]1 J. A4 `# W) ppoetry.6 e) j0 d! ^$ T; C7 L- w) e
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